On Whining

So I've read two pieces in the past twenty-four hours where the author complains about whining in other people's work. One was a superior toned memoir piece in the college's literary magazine whose author claimed that David Sedaris' writing was whiny. I like Sedaris, and someone close to me claimed that my writing reminded her of his. I would rather be compaired to Tobius Wolff, wishful thinking I know. Another person wrote about how she is making an effort not to whine about trivial things while so many people in the world have much more important things to complain about. This led me to ask myself if I whine in my work. I think I do, actually.

I think the main thing I am trying to do is force humor out of certain uncomfortable, awkward or painful moments. I believe there is a propensity for people to look for fault in anything that is foriegn to them. Say if I complain about being cold on the top of a hill. It is very easy to look at that statement and think, "well how many people ever get to be on a hill?" "How many people ever get the chance to climb a hill?" "How many people ever get the chance to even be cold?" So if I say I was cold on the top of a hill, and then I slid down on my butt, bumped my head on a root, while my little brother laughed at me," am I still whining? The point is not that I feel sorry for myself, but that I can look back now and find it funny, and hope, if there are people who still have a sense of humor out there, that others find it funny too.

My family sits around a lot and tells funny stories about what happened to them. At the time of the actual event we may have wanted to cry, scream, or punch something (hopefully not each other) but by the time the memory makes it to the dining room table at Thanksgiving the story has taken on a hilarious nature. "We'll laugh about this later." is the term that sums this phenomenon up. So, really, it is not the fact that tribulations are a learning experience so much, they are just a way to dominate the conversation for an hour or two during the holidays.

The things we really want to whine about, bad relationships, failed career choices, bad relationships--oh yea, I said that allready--stay in the background.I save my real whining for the lucky people who are closest to me. Believe me, my significant other can attest to this, I whine verbally all the time. Sometimes my whole day is dominated by "Why can'ts?" and "How comes."

I think where I'm going with this is maybe it isn't the fact that someone is complaining that is the issue. Maybe the complaint is about community. Comedians use "don't you hate it when..." in their acts all the time. I don't think, as an audience, we are supposed to recognise this as a whine, although it is. I think the point is to remind us that we are not alone in our irritability, vunerability, and pain. Getting us to laugh about it together is a good way of sharing the communal experience.

So, if someone complains about traffic or tax forms, I'm going to give them a break. These things drive me crazy too. And it would be hypocritical to state otherwise. I will complain (Hell, I might even write a three page blog post),about these things. At the same time, I will never forget how fortunate I am to be able to fill out tax forms, sit in traffic, and tell funny stories with my family.

P.S. I have to ask also, aren't the people who are writing about people who whine just whining about whiny people?